6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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