In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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