if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think i got beer on your cat.
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