This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
