that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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