I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
