first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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