This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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