it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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