I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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