The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
