Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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