all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
