Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
