At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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