1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
