all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Congratulations! We have a period
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
