Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
