what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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