im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
