I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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