How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
