and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
