definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
