This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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