Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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