Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
