I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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