I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
