The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
