And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
two words...techno handjob
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
