Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
