No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
