Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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