Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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