I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
