when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
