its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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