May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
