if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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