Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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