he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
