id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
