at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
