that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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