Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
