ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
