Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
