Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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