Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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