I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
