Christians are straight up FREAKS
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
