Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
