4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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