i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
