who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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